On my desk currently sits the most disgusting pack of bananas I’ve ever tasted. I can’t quite describe what’s wrong with them, but there’s something not quite right. The texture I’m chewing, it’s almost…brittle.

Now this isn’t the first time I’ve brought fruit that’s quite dodgy, and I’m beginning to lose faith in natures food supply. I once brought a pack of clementines, and instead of getting the instant burst of orange goodness that I was expecting, all I tasted was water, like it was from a rusty old tap.

It could be natures way of saying “leave me alone”. I mean if you had a few Mars bars for lunch then you’re guaranteed a good meal. But if you buy a few apples and oranges then you don’t really know what you’re letting yourself in for.

Lesson for the future? Eat junk food.