I was at the cinema a couple of weeks ago where I watched the extremely brilliant Looper. It was a great evening apart from one moment towards the end where some idiot decided to shout out the ending just before it happened.

It didn’t affect my enjoyment of the film too much, however to this day I just cannot think why someone would do a thing like that. Why try and ruin the movie for everyone? What is there to gain? Are you expecting something in return? Should we give you a standing ovation for your efforts?

Whoever this guy this, if you are reading this now, then I have a message for you. You see I have a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you keep your mouth shut in the cinema, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will beat you up.