The world seems like a busy place at the moment, with events going on big and small.  But last weekend two in particular stood out – Glastonbury and the Bezos wedding.  It got me thinking, that if in some parallel universe I had tickets for Glastonbury, and Jeff Bezos sent me a wedding invitation (my award for being a loyal Amazon customer) then what would I choose?

The first instinct would be to go with Glastonbury, but then when I think about it the choice isn’t quite so simple.

Sure, Glastonbury has some positives.  You would hear some amazing music, meet a few nice people, and experience some pure fresh countryside fresh air.  But the more I thought of it, the more I thought…is that it?  In reality you’re stuck with weird hippies, sleeping rough in tents, eating over-priced food, queuing hours for a shower, and either being drenched in mud or burnt by the scorching heat.

Compare that with the Bezos wedding, and it’s just a weekend of luxury. Unlike Glastonbury, if you feel too hot or cold you can adjust the air con. Or even better – ask one of the many waiters to do it for you.

I admit that one off putting things of going to the Bezos wedding is that Jeff seems like a complete twat.  But ignoring that, it’s an occasion you wouldn’t want to miss.  After all, how many weddings have you been to where you didn’t like the groom?  And I bet none of them were billionaires.

I’ve been to weddings where tens of thousands of pounds have been spent, and they were lavish occasions with high end food and drink.  However this one cost 20 million pounds.  Imagine how delicious the 3 course meal was.  Actually it was probably 20 courses with a personal butler for each table.

And what about the accommodation? It would be top notch. You pit a king sized bed against a sleeping bag, what are you going to pick?  And it’s being held in Venice, I heard it’s quite nice there. 

A few of the locals are protesting about the wedding, but when you spend everyday protesting about over-tourism and cruise ships, it must be nice to protest about something else for a change.

Glastonbury also has protestors, but they’re not as well dressed.

Also, I’m sure Bevos hired a decent live band, probably one that Glastonbury couldn’t even afford. They probably have a better quality sound system as well  And imagine all the extras, like a chocolate fountain, but with actually decent chocolate, and a photobooth with a HD camera.  And let’s not forget, champagne instead of Prosecco on arrival. At Glastonbury you’d have to pay a fortune just for a bottle of water, and that’s on top of your £400 ticket.  The price for bevos wedding? A flight ticket and Amazon Prime.  You can’t beat that.