Swearing is a strange thing, and like a flamboyant moustache, it doesn’t suit everyone.

For instance, when I swear it just sounds completely forced and wrong, so I choose to refrain from that kind of language and keep it clean.

However, many choose to ignore what doesn’t suit them and do it anyway.

With some people, swearing just seems natural; it rolls off the tongue like they were born to do it.  Either that or they were taught at a young age.  Whilst I was watching Thomas the Tank Engine were my contemporaries watching Pulp Fiction?

I guess like many talents such as singing, sports, or maths, you either have it or you don’t.  I just wish that those that didn’t have it were more self aware.

And generally speaking, well to me anyway, swearing doesn’t add anything to the conversation.  If swearing was banned altogether I doubt we would be worse off.

Imagine if Einstein added a few choice words to his Theory of Relatively, or John Lennon added a See You Next Tuesday to  Strawberry Fields.  Would we be living in a more advanced civilisation right now?

Swearing is useful if you want to express frustration, like ‘oh F**k I lost my passport.’  Or ‘oh S**t, I forgot to turn the iron off’.

However, swearing in the hope of sounding tough only works if it’s in your blood.  I think that if you’re in serious poverty, and your family have some history in the Mafia, and you have the charisma of someone in a Guy Richie film, then you might get away with it.

But obviously, if you’re in the cast of the Mary Poppins theatre show and you eat crumpets for breakfast, then you should just keep it clean.

I guess the moral of this story is this – swearing is bad, please don’t do it.