On my lunch breaks around Central London, I have recently noticed an alarming rise in charity muggers, so much so that at some point in the near distant future I think there will be more charity muggers than actual people to mug.

If you don’t know what a charity mugger is, it’s basically someone usually equipped with a clipboard and a forced charismatic expression on their face, who harasses you until you give them your money.

When you walk in their vicinity, which is around 50 meters in all directions, you are actually on their turf, and if they catch your eye, you can be sure they will step in your way and present you with a rubbish compliment such as “you’re looking very well dressed today, sir” and then proceed to go on about their fundraising story.

They know you have better things to do, but unfortunately they don’t have anything else to do, so you are stuck there until the inevitable “can I rely on your donation today?” 

You don’t get to go home and think about it, you must pay up now, otherwise people will suffer. And it’s all on you.

When I go out for lunch, I like to enjoy my downtime. It’s pleasant sometimes to just walk aimlessly and not really think about much. That is, until a charity mugger sees you.

I find a good deterrent is a pair of sunglasses and headphones. Sunglasses are not only great at protecting from UV light, they can also protect you from the eye contact of a charity mugger. They also look cool. The headphones are just so if they do try to draw attention I can pretend to ignore them without looking so rude.

In all seriousness, these guys really should be banned. They are predatory, desperate attention seekers who see everyone as cash cows, and quite frankly if I want to donate to a charity, it won’t be because of some guy from the street.