The next time I go to the Proms, I should really look up what is playing before I go. The headliner was Beethoven’s 9th, but there were two acts before who I presumed would be similar to Ludwig. It turns out I was very wrong.

The first piece was Jonathan Dove’s We Are One Fire, a large choir which seemed to be singing two different songs at the same time, resulting in music that came across like a noisy shouting match. It was still quite angelic in an angry way, like a group of annoyed Angels who’ve just realised you’ve hidden the tv remote.

The 2nd act was interesting I suppose, especially if organised chaos is your thing. The music is hard to describe in words, but if you imagined the sound of a thousand cats fighting an army of monkeys in a shop made of dynamite then you’d get the idea.  Surprisingly enough, these musicians were actually following a conductor, who was flopping his arms around casually like a Seal.  It was impressive musicianship but it did go on a bit.

The interval finally came, and some of the audience seemed to have gone mad from the music. At the other end of the row, a well dressed old dear was shouting at 2 young ladies in front of her, apparently because they were using their phones during the performance. I’d never seen an argument at the Proms before. This place is supposed to be full of polite posh people, who let the plebs in?

Someone sitting next to us couldn’t resist the drama and spent the rest of the evening sitting with the old dear, and decided to get involved with whatever they were talking about. I was thankful that this incident had given me extra legroom.

Soon enough, the orchestra returned to the stage to perform Beethoven’s 9th. When you hear the famous Ode to Joy ringing out around the Albert Hall, you really couldn’t ask for more.

Beethoven of course had lost his hearing by the time he wrote this, so he never heard this music with his own ears. Imagine going to a Michelin star restaurant where the head chef had lost his taste buds.

Overall it was an amazing night at the Proms that had everything; some iffy music, some great music, some drama between obese and Chinese people and an old lady who loves gossip.