Today it hit home that the schools are back. The traffic was endless, the pavements crowded, and the rain was back with vengeance. 

I also think I just witnessed a sentient umbrella. There was a lady outside who was frantically trying to do her coat up. She placed her open umbrella on the floor, and every so often it would try and edge away from her. She was focused so much on doing her zip up that it took her a while to notice. Anyway, after a few more attempts at freedom the lady noticed and grabbed the poor thing, which then had to go back to its job of being rained on.

Going back to the schools, I wonder if we should just close them all. Kids don’t really care about education, and the parents just see schools as babysitting clubs. On the downside it might result in children who are not very good at English or Maths. On the bright side it would lessen the available work pool, and in doing so will reduce my competition when applying for jobs. Plus I’ll be more likely to get a seat on my train, and there’ll be far less traffic etc.

Of course, the unemployment rate will rise, crime will rise, and the NHS might collapse. It’ll basically be like living in America. But hopefully my increase in wages will allow me to move to a more affluent part of town, safe and sound in a gated community with armed guards.

Somewhere in an alternative universe, this might have happened.